The Adventures of a Honda Civic

I have a 1994 Honda Civic Automatic. It's ok for a 12 year old car to be honest.

Yesterday a friend, my cat and I set forth in said car on a long trip south. Just over halfway, cruising along I slowed down and flashed a car to come in off the hard shoulder.

As I did so I lost all drive; it was very strange. So I coasted onto the hard shoulder wondering what on earth had gone wrong. I tried restarting the engine and had no joy. The engine was turning over but there was no one home. It sounded a little different to usual too. As we had coasted to a halt the automatic transmission cogged down through the gears but the throttle had no effect.

I got my friend out the car and over the barrier and lifted the bonnet. I couldn't see anything obviously wrong so I looked underneath to see if any oil or water was escaping. Nothing there either.

I called the RAC for the second time this year. With the help of the Highways Traffic Agency, I managed to persuade the receptionist of our location and we got help within 20 minutes.

We were towed off the motorway and into Toddington Services. I discussed the options with the RAC rescue man. We could turn round and go back to Sheffield or put the car into a local garage and continue on. I had paid for the full monty on the RAC package but didn't have my driving license with me. It being a Bank Holiday Sunday, DVLA wouldn't be open until Tuesday so no chance of a car until then. We had been heading to a friend's in London to drop the cat off while we went on to the Kingston Green Fair for the stewards' briefing.

Once we had been towed to the garage, I rang that friend and he came out to pick us up. We managed to get everything from my car to his car and set off again.

The motorway was now clogged with traffic so we took a scenic route to an A road; experienced two hold ups due to accidents but otherwise reasonably plain sailing for London on a Bank Holiday Sunday.

Eight and half hours after we had set off we arrived at our destination.

The cat behaved impeccably throughout. I let her out the cage for a little while inside the car but she began to overheat so I put her back in her cage, brought her outside the car, poured some water on her and she stayed outside the car from then on. Other than that, she was a little fed up with being in her cage all the time but never significantly distressed. I am amazed she travels so well.

I won't know til Tuesday how much the car will cost to repair.

and following on ....

...from my last topic ....

I dispensed with a wolf spider today.

I had to find it first.

I saw it first thing this morning, on the bathroom floor. By the time I had got hold of the glass it had disappeared. So I left the glass ready and went away, figuring it had got into that pile of clothes I'd left on the floor.

I went back later on and shook each piece of clothing carefully. It fell out of the T shirt and scuttled about, seeking shelter. It found the slatted wood and hid in that but I encouraged it out and finally got the glass on it.

I went and got an envelope and slipped that underneath, took the whole thing to a window and showed it to the cat. She was most amused.

I shook the glass out the window. I hung out the window, took away the envelope and watched it sail downwards.

I was left wondering what it thought of it all. Do they come round, stunned, at the end of their journey, thinking 'just what the **** was that?' And how many of them like it and start working out ways to get back so that they have the experience again? Do they call it a mystical experience and have a religion about it? Or do they just get up and go about their business?

The persecutor, victim and rescuer triangle.

I came across this concept while chatting with someone studying counselling. We were talking about abuse and what behaviour patterns allow people so inclined to think that an individual can be a victim to their bullying.

What I found fundamentally interesting about Lynne Forrest's article is the introduction of the Rescuer into the Persecutor-victim interaction. The discussion about the drama triangle is also good stuff but the inclusion of the Rescuer in the Persecutor-Victim dialogue caused a fundamental shift in my perception of the various abusive systems that occur in life.

Have you ever been in the situation where a workmate or colleague 'only wants to help' but you cringe at their being involved at all. Are you muttering under your breath 'no all you really want to do is balls it up!'. Could it be that Lynne's article is relevant in this situation?

It's also very interesting that a lot of Rescuers don't see themselves as fitting into that triangle at all.